I am privileged to have many friends, both in real life and through social media. One of the recurring themes I see, especially among female friends, is dieting and weight loss. Some are able to handle this aspect of their lives in a healthy fashion, and others struggle. Personally, I think it is a shame on our society that we put women in a position where they self-reflect in anything but a positive way. Meanwhile, overeating, binge eating, and other eating disorders are usually the outcome of stressors that we have to identify and address.
One of the smartest quips ever uttered in the weight loss industry was made by Richard Simmons. No, really. One of his most famous sayings is "It's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you." Look at our "coping skills" in the United States: eating, smoking, drinking alcohol, drug use, gambling, pornography, excessive exercise, and other addictions. It becomes a never-ending cycle of stress, addiction, and rehab. We need to cure the stressors, but that is not going to happen in our current capitalist economic model.
Combating stress in any meaningful way is problematic if you look at it only from a profit-making perspective. Stress is difficult to define, and we tend to frown on the idea of leaving your job, your spouse, or abandoning your children, to name but a few triggers. Stress is subjective, and not outwardly obvious. The effects of stress are obvious, and so we market solutions to the symptoms rather than the cause. A vacation is surely the best prescription, and we will even float you a bank loan or credit to make it happen. Vitamins and supplements and energy drinks will help you get through your day. Treat yourself to that pizza, bacon cheeseburger, ice cream dessert, or other favorite comfort food. You get the picture, but this is where the treadmill starts.
Oops, overdid it with the food? Try [insert any commercial diet plan here] to get back to normal. This "solution" only adds another degree of stress, and so it is no wonder that diets fail. Maybe we start drinking now, too.
The idea of "cheating" on a diet is also harmful. It implies wrongdoing and initiates feelings of guilt and shame, which add to stress and reinforce a poor sense of self-esteem; which makes one more likely to "cheat" again, and so on and so forth. This is not the same thing as cheating on a spouse or significant other, or cheating on a test, or breaking any kind of vow or law, yet how many of those on a diet equate it with such? Baloney. Forgive yourself, if there is even anything to be forgiven for.
As long as money is to be made from treating the symptoms of stress, the diet, cosmetics, and personal finance industries are going to keep peddling destructive "solutions" instead of devoting resources to get to the roots of it all. Our personal goals should be to resist not the temptations of the marketplace, but the personal behaviors and situations that lead to stress. We don't need punishments for negative coping mechanisms, we need alternatives to those bad habits.
We also need to alleviate stress to begin with. Maybe that means limiting your time with family over the holidays. Maybe that does mean taking time off from your workplace. Maybe it means going off of social media if the feedback you are getting from sharing your struggles is anything but supportive and understanding. If we do these things, then the impulse to overindulge in anything harmful will ebb, at least a little bit.
So, how do I cope in healthy ways? I make sure I get outside and take at least a 30-minute walk every day, weather-permitting. I take breaks to watch the odd "guilty pleasure" television show. I should read more, a lot more, and it is one of my goals to make that a higher priority. I draw, and I write, and I take photographs, for pleasure as well as part of my income. Am I successful one hundred percent of the time? No, of course not. Probably not even 70% lately, but I forgive myself for that.
Please share your own secrets for stress-relief success in the comments. We need to encourage each other more than ever.
I tried a lot of them, to little avail. And diets to me, became synonymous with famine, suffering, hunger. Then I discovered the keto way of eating. It's not a diet; it's a lifestyle change. I have lost 60 pounds, brought my blood pressure and blood sugar back to normal (no more diabetes!), joint aches are gone, my mind is clearer, and the stress level is much reduced. I feel GOOD! What it is, is the removal of the phony way of eating that we have been sold by government and food corporations. You recognize that sugar is poison, slowly sapping the life from you and leading to chronic disease. And you recognize that fats - real ones, are healthy, no matter what lies you have believed. The real fats are butter, lard, eggs, well marbled meats (all pastured or grass fed), cold water fish. The fake fats are oleo, crisco, and all the cheap high-Omega 6 vegetable oils like soy, corn, cottonseed, etc. These would be better to not be used in our bodies, but for diesel fuels. Balance the oils with low carb veggies and fiber - greens, broccoli, brussels sprouts, etc. Get rid of most beans and grains (and wheat belly); switch to seeds, especially high-Omega 3 ones like flax, hemp, etc.
ReplyDeleteI've had to deal with a lot of stress in recent years -- having now been the primary caregiver to my dad, husband and mom through their terminal illnesses. My mom just died 3 months ago after over a year of illness. I'm just recovering from that stress -- I didn't eat particularly well during the 13 months I lived in the city, but I'm trying to get back on track. Also didn't have much opportunity for exercise or doing the things that help me cope, but now I am trying to get back to the things that help me deal with a life that hasn't been all that easy:
ReplyDelete1.) Playing music. I play celtic music - mostly alone, but go to sessions when possible. Playing music is what helped to keep me somewhat sane over the past year. I even play while lying in bed in the dark. It's very meditative as this kind of music tends to be memorized and makes use of muscle memory.
2.) Going out looking for flora and fauna to enter onto iNaturalist. Just going out to look around is good too, but I do find that going out walking with the intention of photographing and entering my sightings onto iNaturalist causes me to be even more aware than I might otherwise be -- sort of consciously opening my mind to sights and sounds around me. That feels meditative.
3.) Corresponding (mainly by email) with good friends -- I find this a great stress relief. I may not write about what is troubling me -- often, instead, I just try to write something funny or amusing to send to someone.
4.) Painting - the creation of any kind of art takes me to a very different mental space -- it's a bit like being lost in thought, I suppose. I can be "gone" for hours.
5.) Dancing -- I don't do this as much as I used to -- but should get back to it. I used to love to put on a video of African dance - and just dance to that - very relaxing and again, takes you out of yourself for awhile. Dancing to music like the Stones, Peter Gabriel, Brian Ferry, etc… always feels fun and can get me out of a dark mood.
6.) Cooking something good that takes time to make. I made a vegetable curry a couple of days ago. It took quite a bit of time to make - a lot of steps. I try not to hurry and just enjoy the process of making the food. My late husband and I loved to cook together - usually on Sunday. Saturday morning, we'd go out shopping for all the vegetables we needed and then spend Sunday afternoon making our dinner. So much fun and relaxing as we had high stress jobs. We often went hiking or snowshoeing on Sunday morning and came home and cooked for the rest of the day. Cooking and eating good meals is sort of a basic thing. I think we North Americans have gotten away from the joy of meal preparation. Just look at how much of the grocery store is filled with things like boxed cereals, frozen ready-made dinners, etc.. It's more like food has become something to stuff into yourself instead of something you prepare with thought and love. My body and mind appreciate good food that I have made for myself.
7.) Playing with my two big Collies. One of the best things in my life these days. Keeps me going even in the toughest times.
8.) Gardening - another of my greatest joys. Extremely meditative. Vegetable gardening always seems particularly good -- because it connects me to the food I grow and then prepare. Closing the circle of life.
9.) Reading. I used to read quickly - I had to during my years at university. For a long while after, I lost the desire to read. However, it came back, but in a different way. I read slowly now - savouring what I read. I pretty much read only non-fiction - mostly related to natural history. I often stop to muse over what I'm reading.
10.) Be a good friend to others -- I try to be a good listener. Talking with people who share your passion about something is very energizing.
I'm sure I could go on with some more, but these are enough. :)