New Year's Resolutions and Revolutions

Anybody else likely to bid farewell to 2018 with a sentiment akin to "Don't let the door hit you in the arse on your way out?" Me, too. Personally, it has been something of an average year, but in terms of local, national, and global trends, it has been more like a horror movie with no end in sight. Time to reflect and plot ways to better handle stress and deal with our adversaries.

© Unearthedcomics.com and Sara Zimmerman

Is the Past the Past, or...?

Part of the problem entering 2019 is that there will not be a clean break from the problems of 2018. The federal government shutdown is likely to persist, for one thing. Closer to home, the housing development destined to go up on the land I want to see preserved as an open space, just up the street from us, will edge closer to reality. The stream where I found the only population of Filigree Skimmer dragonflies in the entire state of Colorado will be threatened by a Colorado Springs Utilities project to widen the waterway, sometime in late 2019 or maybe 2020. Developers will also press for conversion of the prairie around Jimmy Camp Creek Park and Corral Bluffs Open Space to housing and retail. Continued sprawl.

The portion of the U.S.-Mexico border wall that is already funded will begin construction (or demolition, more properly) beginning at the National Butterfly Center in Mission, Texas, effectively ceding over forty acres of this preserve to Mexico. Many a sleepless night will occur as I ponder whether to engage in direct action protests there if it comes to that.

Leftover Gratitudes

On a brighter note, I will be continuing to identify insect specimens under two contracts I have. I am exceptionally grateful for the work, and find it challenging and stimulating and gratifying in every sense of the word. I also have a new book out that I will be promoting every chance I get, hopefully benefiting entities larger than myself in the process. I have ideas for at least two more books, and need to get cracking on proposals for those that I can shop around to an agent or publishers.

Positively Coping

I have come to excel at procrastination and distraction, and need to correct that, channeling my fearful energies into brighter things. To that end I will take steps to get back to comedy. That may merely take the form of regular attendance at the local comedy club, actually participating in open-mic nights, or even starting a "comedy clinic" for aspiring comedians. Maybe I will start cartooning again, too. That may even be the first thing before the club scene. Point is, I love to laugh and, even better, make other people laugh. My spouse may be growing tired of my brand of humor, so it may be necessary to take it to another audience, just for the sake of our marriage.

Keep On Writin'

The one thing that I do manage to do with a fair degree of consistency is to write. That will not change. What I want to change is where I am writing. I need more eyes on my work. This is not as egotistical as it sounds. The more eyes the more people thinking, whether they agree with me or not. The more people offering sound and constructive criticism so I can better my writing. The more people inspired to share their stories, their ideas, their experiences. Society does not advance if we are silent. The most successful revolutions start by example, one person's resolution shared through in-person demonstration.

Maybe podcasts are in my future. Maybe guest spots on other people's podcasts. Maybe I should investigate the TED talks thing. The basic point is that I need to explore more, get out of my comfort zone. I need to exercise more. I have to quit making excuses and find a yoga class I can get to. Walk twice a day instead of once a day as I am doing currently. Learn to cook something besides a frozen dinner. That reminds me, we have two bottles of wine, one untouched for a year. I keep forgetting about that.

Dieting and Other Punishments

© HealthPartners.com

I am privileged to have many friends, both in real life and through social media. One of the recurring themes I see, especially among female friends, is dieting and weight loss. Some are able to handle this aspect of their lives in a healthy fashion, and others struggle. Personally, I think it is a shame on our society that we put women in a position where they self-reflect in anything but a positive way. Meanwhile, overeating, binge eating, and other eating disorders are usually the outcome of stressors that we have to identify and address.

One of the smartest quips ever uttered in the weight loss industry was made by Richard Simmons. No, really. One of his most famous sayings is "It's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you." Look at our "coping skills" in the United States: eating, smoking, drinking alcohol, drug use, gambling, pornography, excessive exercise, and other addictions. It becomes a never-ending cycle of stress, addiction, and rehab. We need to cure the stressors, but that is not going to happen in our current capitalist economic model.

Combating stress in any meaningful way is problematic if you look at it only from a profit-making perspective. Stress is difficult to define, and we tend to frown on the idea of leaving your job, your spouse, or abandoning your children, to name but a few triggers. Stress is subjective, and not outwardly obvious. The effects of stress are obvious, and so we market solutions to the symptoms rather than the cause. A vacation is surely the best prescription, and we will even float you a bank loan or credit to make it happen. Vitamins and supplements and energy drinks will help you get through your day. Treat yourself to that pizza, bacon cheeseburger, ice cream dessert, or other favorite comfort food. You get the picture, but this is where the treadmill starts.

Oops, overdid it with the food? Try [insert any commercial diet plan here] to get back to normal. This "solution" only adds another degree of stress, and so it is no wonder that diets fail. Maybe we start drinking now, too.

The idea of "cheating" on a diet is also harmful. It implies wrongdoing and initiates feelings of guilt and shame, which add to stress and reinforce a poor sense of self-esteem; which makes one more likely to "cheat" again, and so on and so forth. This is not the same thing as cheating on a spouse or significant other, or cheating on a test, or breaking any kind of vow or law, yet how many of those on a diet equate it with such? Baloney. Forgive yourself, if there is even anything to be forgiven for.

As long as money is to be made from treating the symptoms of stress, the diet, cosmetics, and personal finance industries are going to keep peddling destructive "solutions" instead of devoting resources to get to the roots of it all. Our personal goals should be to resist not the temptations of the marketplace, but the personal behaviors and situations that lead to stress. We don't need punishments for negative coping mechanisms, we need alternatives to those bad habits.

We also need to alleviate stress to begin with. Maybe that means limiting your time with family over the holidays. Maybe that does mean taking time off from your workplace. Maybe it means going off of social media if the feedback you are getting from sharing your struggles is anything but supportive and understanding. If we do these things, then the impulse to overindulge in anything harmful will ebb, at least a little bit.

So, how do I cope in healthy ways? I make sure I get outside and take at least a 30-minute walk every day, weather-permitting. I take breaks to watch the odd "guilty pleasure" television show. I should read more, a lot more, and it is one of my goals to make that a higher priority. I draw, and I write, and I take photographs, for pleasure as well as part of my income. Am I successful one hundred percent of the time? No, of course not. Probably not even 70% lately, but I forgive myself for that.

Please share your own secrets for stress-relief success in the comments. We need to encourage each other more than ever.

Addictions, Distractions, and Coping

© BrainyQuote.com

These days I am finding it almost impossible to find joy in anything. Instead, I am reduced to distracting myself from all the negative that permeates life these days, from world news to the incessant ear-piercing screams and screeches of unsupervised children playing just outside in our townhouse complex. Some of those distractions, compulsions, and addictions are productive, some are not. We don't cope well here in the U.S.A. That is our collective weakness, our Achilles heel.

Do I have addictions? Yes. What are they? None of your business. That is not what is worth discussing anyway. Specifics lead to gossip, judgment, shunning, shaming, bullying, and other social reactions that only reinforce addictions or drive people deeper into despair. What we need to be asking is how we have come to adopt addictions and other negative behaviors as coping mechanisms. We want to "check-out" without doing so permanently. Take away our coping skills, if you can call them that, and we might actually end it all.

Complicating matters, of course, is the fact that we have entire industries that profit by feeding our addictions: adult beverages, tobacco, marijuana (in some of our states), casinos and lotteries, adult entertainment....The list could go on and on. Sure, we pass legislation, have sobriety check-points, and institute other means of limiting our indulgences, or at least providing consequences for abuse that can affects others, like drunk driving; but the penalties are so minor and forgiving as to be an insult to victims. The treadmill continues.

Meanwhile, we desperately need new alternatives to alcohol, drugs (illicit and prescription), tobacco, gambling, and other avenues that usually compound our problems instead of alleviate them. The problem is, I am not sure there really are any. Individual brains are all wired differently, and what appeals to one person won't appeal to another. We make our suggestions, like exercising, going for a walk, going to a movie, volunteering for a charity, church, or other organization, but then chastise the person if they say no to our way of coping.

Even a good thing can turn ugly if one has an addictive personality. Why do I feel compelled to bring back images or other trophies from time I spend outdoors in nature? Why do I have to even justify time in the woods, on the plains, or elsewhere to myself? Why do I think that if I don't I have been wasting time? I need proof to show myself and others that I am not just goofing off, "bug hunting," or "birdwatching" or whatever. It would help if our society would stop stigmatizing positive behaviors like that. Ultimately, though, we have to make ourselves judgment-proof, and unless you are a complete recluse, that is extremely difficult.

What helps me a little is to make a weekly to-do list that I alone answer to. Some days, just doing a load of laundry is all the accomplishment I can muster. That should be ok, for other days I turn out an article, a blog post or two, or clean the bathroom, or all of the above. Having interests and skills that few others don't is both a blessing and a curse. Creative pursuits have their own schedule, which is usually no schedule at all, and the periods between those times can be depressing, lonely, irritating, and addiction-filled. This is not an excuse. It is a condition that I often fight daily, struggling between acceptance and shame.

No lifestyle today is free from external stress in one form or another, free of demands, responsibilities, and expectations, though we all should strive to liberate ourselves and each other from unhealthy degrees of those stressors. Ironically, we avoid or cope by adding self-imposed stresses in the form of addictions, distractions, and compulsions. What worries me is what if those bad habits and behaviors are all that is keeping one from losing their grip altogether. This is not a sustainable cycle, but we seem loathe to turn our culture around, to look to European nations and elsewhere for viable solutions. Nope, addictions are the American Way, and we'll be damned if we ever admit we don't have all the answers already.

Note: Thank you to all my followers here, new and "old," for your patience and support.