The Branding of "Never Forget"

© MicheleRamsey.wordpress.com

American culture is obsessed with tragedy and hero-worship. Nowhere will this be more evident and celebrated than during the twentieth anniversary of September 11, 2001. I fully expect a television news anchor to wag their finger as they implore us to “never forget.” The branding of that phrase has clear implications, and they are not flattering nor socially or psychologically healthy. There is reverence and remembrance, and then there is something more insidious, divisive and destructive.

The phrase is now the name of a website for a charitable organization dedicated to a memorial and educational program surrounding 9-11. Fear not, the media will never let us forget that tragedy, because we elevate it above almost all others: America as victim. It is archived not only in memory, but in every conceivable medium of communication. It truly feels like it happened yesterday, because most events in the digital age endure. We collectively know the biography of every life lost, every hero, every perpetrator.

We should indeed have reverence for life, but all lives. Sacrifice and service need not be public, by profession (first responders, healthcare workers, military personnel), or even disaster-related. It should be a regular exercise instead of something spectacular. Yes, we should remember our collective history, but we tend to pick and choose which events to mark on the calendar.

…. the implication is that we are to never forget that our enemies are non-white, non-Christian, and often non-American.

It is telling that the events the media instructs us to never forget are tragedies affecting mostly white people, and/or establishments that we hold sacred, namely financial institutions and schools, churches, retail marketplaces, and entertainment venues. This is why we have to be reminded by ordinary citizens that Black Lives Matter. We seem to largely ignore other historical calamities, and ongoing offenses against non-whites.

Maybe we should remember that we massacred indigenous peoples, stole their land, and erased their culture. It is a continuing tragedy under the guise of the public good, and even missionary work. Maybe we should never forget that we enslaved generations of Black people, and currently incarcerate them disproportionately, execute them on the street with no judicial process, and discriminate against them as we always have in education, wages, and the workplace. Maybe we should recall internment camps where we placed Asian Americans during World War II, and recent immigrants from south of our borders. Maybe we should remember that we invaded Iraq.

No, the implication is that we are to never forget that our enemies are non-white, non-Christian, and often non-American. In reality, the real threat to peace, freedom, liberty, and equality is white supremacy. This is what we need to be reminded of daily, not just on the anniversary of some horror, not just on Juneteenth. Our sworn enemies are largely manufactured from white entitlements. Why should we be surprised that they object to our hubris?

Meanwhile, heroic figures are usually white saviors, be they first responders, healthcare workers, political leaders, or celebrities in the entertainment industry raising funds in the wake of a tragedy. Real heroes, of course come in all colors, everywhere along the gender spectrum, from all religions, and all economic classes.

We prosper most, collectively, when we embrace, advocate for, and promote all peoples, especially those not endowed with white privilege. The whole planet would be better off if we listened to indigenous cultures and learned their sustainable practices of land stewardship.

Want to be a hero? Be fearlessly authentic, have an open mind, listen more. Revel in being ordinary, but strive for excellence, equality, true justice, and leadership by example. Ask yourself what you can do without so that others can have what they need and deserve. Be honest, and speak honestly. Yes, it will make you vulnerable, but we need to normalize vulnerability and empathy.

You are not required to step into line with toxic ideology or conventions that serve no one but those who already have privilege. That is what freedom truly means. You are not a “race traitor,” you are a world citizen. Never forget that.

NOTE: Dr. Michele Ramsey's essay is also recommended reading.

Drunk Driving

I rarely post content here that is not my own, but one of my friends on social media narrowly avoided a tragic automobile accident recently, and her account of the ordeal is so powerful that it demands more widespread circulation. Please take this message to heart, "share" it, and intervene whenever there is potential for an intoxicated human being to get behind a wheel.

The aftermath of the accident © Laura Lillie Saenz

"First - everyone involved is ok. Normally I wouldn't share something like this, but my reasoning is important. I can't convey how close we were; I'm not sure how we were not involved, but for the hand of God. The kids and I watched all this unfold. We watched the driver crawl out the window, and his passenger stumbled out to the ground.

My son was getting out of the car before I even stopped; and went to her and he sat with her while the driver ran. I checked on the elderly gentleman in the truck, while calling 911. The girls patiently sat in the truck for hours. As we sat with the young lady whose face was cosmetically damaged, [with] at least 2 teeth out, she told us she was sorry.

You see, they were drunk. Really drunk! It was 6 PM and they were coming back from a Mexican restaurant in town; she said she had 9 beers (she barely weighed 100 pounds), that they were drunk, but she let him drive her car. He left her laying on the side of a ditch, for strangers to care for her. I asked her to talk to us until paramedics got there, and she laid there talking to me about her 4-year-old daughter and her mom. I just kept looking at my son and my truck that safely held my babies and thanking God for our safety.

But, as we waited and watched first responders do their jobs, I couldn't help but be angry too. There is NO excuse for anyone to ever get in a vehicle and drive after drinking. If you have a habit of drinking - even one or two beers - and getting in your car, you need to get a picture of your kids, your wife, your mom, and put them on your dash. You need to know your story may not end as well as this one. This young momma could have very easily been taken from her daughter tonight. That elderly man, was probably a grand-daddy, a husband, and loved.

I have zero patience for intoxicated drivers. You are endangering the lives of other people around you, and could forever ruin the lives of so, so many people, robbing all future generations of a chance to know a loved one. Parents, please, tell your teenagers that if they are ever in a situation where they have been drinking, or a friend has been drinking, tell them you will come get them no questions asked (until the morning anyway). Tell them repeatedly. Tell them in their 20's that if they are out partying you'll pay for a cab ride home. Let them know they can come to you in that moment. Be mad at them later, but be thankful they're alive.

If you have a friend out drinking, maybe right now, call them, tell them you'll come get them, offer to be a designated driver or pitch in for a cab. But, don't let them, or yourself, get in a car if you have had anything to drink.

I am happy to say that just after they told us we could leave, one of the first officers on the scene came and thanked us and told us they got the guy. I am thankful that these people involved will be able to go home and hug their loved ones again." - Laura Lillie Saenz

We drink to celebrate, we drink to drown our sorrows. We are given far too many excuses to drink and not nearly enough reasons not to. Drinking alcohol is never, ever an acceptable coping skill. One could argue convincingly that we should not drive a vehicle during any emotional highs or lows, let alone under the influence of substances that exacerbate those emotions. The NFL playoffs finish today. The Super Bowl is in a couple more weeks. Do not let fanaticism end up in fatality.

Tragedy in Tucson

I feel somewhat obligated to comment on the recent mass shooting incident in Tucson being that I am a current resident, and have briefly met Representative Giffords. My local friends and I are shocked, saddened, and outraged by this event, but I’ll stick largely with the facts here.

First, let us not minimize the fact that six people have already perished. Among them were a federal judge, John M. Roll, and a nine-year-old girl, Christina-Taylor Green. Congresswoman Giffords was staging one of her routine “Congress on Your Corner” events at a local strip mall, and Judge Roll had merely swung by on his way home to pay his friend a brief visit. The young girl, in irony of all ironies, had gained fame as one of the Faces of Hope, featured in the book of that title about babies born on September 11, 2001.

Additional fatalities included Giffords’ Constituent Services Director, Gabe Zimmerman, retirees Dorwan Stoddard, Dorthy Murray, and Phyllis Schneck. Twenty individuals in all were wounded. The good news is that four out of the five people on the critical list last night have now been upgraded to “serious.”

Gabrielle Giffords herself remains in critical condition, but a Sunday morning press conference held by the doctors and surgeons who are treating her was filled with optimism. Miraculously, her injuries involved only one hemisphere of her brain. Before and after surgery she was able to respond to simple commands (squeeze my hand, show two fingers, etc), which considering the gravity of her condition is nothing short of amazing.

I was giving a presentation at the Medical Entomology Today conference here in Tucson when this calamity happened. My topic was “Social Media and Self-Diagnosis: How the Internet has Made Medical Entomology Better and Worse.” While I was describing how electronic technologies are changing how the public gets information, members of my audience were receiving text messages about the tragedy. Politely, no one interrupted my talk.

When I was informed of the event my heart was in my throat. I had the honor and pleasure of meeting Representative Giffords when she attended the “Butterfly Affaire” fundraiser at the Tucson Botanical Gardens back in October. She was her usual smiling self, and I helped her find butterflies which she eagerly shared with her family and other members of her entourage. This woman goes out of her way to find opportunities to mingle with her constituents, and never gives the impression that anyone is beneath her. She could care less about your political affiliation, but cares deeply about your physical (read healthcare) and economic well-being.

I’m not going to devote one word to the gunman, you can find that out for yourself if you wish.

What continues to disturb me is the direction our American society is taking. One could make the argument that we are a devolving species, going backwards in our cultural evolution at the least. We are literally our own worst enemies, filling the roles of competitors, parasites, and predators once occupied by other organisms during the course of our divergence from the rest of the great apes. Clearly, we have the capacity to hold in check our destructive instincts and tendencies and behave instead in an altruistic manner that ultimately benefits us as individuals. We are increasingly choosing not to do that. We no longer have patience. We must have things “our” way, right now.

We also have more weapons at our disposal for forcing others to comply with our whims, or to destroy our (perceived) adversaries. We need to scale down our definition of “weapons of mass destruction.” Obviously, an automatic handgun qualifies.

There was a blood drive today at the two Red Cross donation centers, in honor of the fallen from yesterday’s tragedy. I didn’t go, figuring the facilities would be swamped (and buses run infrequently on Sundays, affecting my ability to get to and from the nearest location). I am overdue for donating, though, and will likely do so later in the coming week. It is a nice, tangible gesture to affirm life in general. Self-sacrifice, whether it takes the form of sharing one’s blood voluntarily, parting with money for a good cause, or some other act, is just the remedy for what ails us as a society so self-obsessed. Find a way to sacrifice, and do it regularly. Watch the positive chain reaction.