Guest Post: Letting Habitat Restore Itself

It is a rare occasion when I invite someone to guest post here, but when I read the following social media post by Justin Thomas, I knew I needed to share his message formally. I will have a few comments at the end, but here let us first hear his experience, without edits.

”Here are the woods by my house near Springfield, Missouri, USA, after six years of doing absolutely nothing but letting nature order itself over time.

© Justin Thomas, May 9, 2026, 6:05 PM.

A brief history: This is the crest of a north facing slope that drops off dramatically in the background (photo facing northwest). The road you can see is called "Bluff Drive," because of the steep slope. To the south the hill flattens for 60 meters or so and then becomes a large flat grown over field. The field was obviously plowed historically and the woods, on the edge of the field, were cut-over, but not likely ever plowed. The earliest aerial photography I've seen is from the early 1960s, and the woods between the road and the field (the woods in the photo) had begun to grow back and are now some of the oldest woods within many miles. They were probably grazed until the mid-1970s when the houses on this dead-end street (now a mile outside of city limits) were built.

The woods are largely early successional trees like Black Walnut and Hackberry that germinated after the grazing and probably brush-hogging, or Euro-American burning. There are also large Black Oaks, Maple-Leaved Oaks, and Chinquapin Oaks that are likely sucker sprouts from the stumps of the original woods, or sprouts from the stumps of the sprouts of an earlier cut, that though the same size as the early successional trees, are decades older. This last point is important because though there are big oaks, they are not yet colonizing, nor can they because the damaged system is not what they colonize into. Still, I suspect in the next 20-30 years, left to their own devices, they will recruit back into the system.

© Justin Thomas, May 7, 2020, 6:07 PM.

The woods in the above photo (taken in 2020) are full of Buckbrush, Missouri Gooseberry, Clustered Black Snakeroot (Sanicula ordorata), and little else. These are hallmark species of former grazing, especially in woods. My family and I moved onto the property in 2016 and I immediately expressed my desire, my NEED, to get in and cut all the Buckbrush in order to open the woods for floral diversity. My wife asked me to leave enough to maintain the privacy it provided us and our neighbors. That's how thick it was. I was too busy and, let's face it, too lazy, to ever do it.

Turns out laziness has many rewards. In the spring of 2020, and the reason I took the photo, I noticed that there was less Buckbrush and Gooseberry than the year prior. Over the next couple of years that decline increased substantially every year. Six years later the Buckbrush, Missouri Gooseberry, and Clustered Black Snakeroot are almost completely gone. As these short-lived shrubs died of old age, and minus any further ecological damage that would allow their seeds to germinate and replace their parents, slowly more and more sedges, grasses, and forbs colonized the woods.

Let me rephrase that, because the sedges, grasses, and forbs were already there, just at very low densities (as is usually the case in such places). What I should have written was: as the woods became less suitable to Buckbrush and Gooseberry it became more suitable for the sedges, grasses, and forbs that had been eking out their existence at very low densities in the micro-scale nooks and crannies that had not been highly impacted. These kinds of population lulls also afford many species an escape from pathogens, so when they do have the opportunity to recolonize, their metabolisms are more geared toward reproduction than defense.

While this was going on, young saplings, and some larger trees that were suppressed under the larger trees, also could not maintain their metabolic needs and they died. This further opened the canopy and midstory, allowing light to power the ground flora metabolisms. Simultaneously, with less canopy and midstory, air moves around more and the site dries out faster, decreasing the fungal load (fungi are the number one seed predators), increasing insect activity, and aiding both wind and insect pollination.

The point of this story is that no human did anything to increase any of the wonderful clockwork things that happened and that are happening. The only human part of the story is the negative impact and subsequent abandonment. The powerline cut in the background, just before the road, has Bush Honeysuckle, Japanese Honeysuckle, Multiflora Rose, and Eastern Red Cedar. They, too, are declining. Why? Because this is what nature does. Damaged systems are colonized by species that thrive in the damage (largely driven by nutrient availability). When damage/disturbance stops, the nutrient availability declines and eventually the system becomes the sort of place where damage-dependent species cannot persist. This is why most damage-dependent species have short lives, long distance dispersal mechanisms, make lots of seeds, and have seeds that bank longer than stability-dependent species. It is a core natural phenomenon inherent to all living systems.

I'm sharing this because it isn't a freak occurrence. I see this everywhere, and I hope that after reading this you may see it, too. It is so beautifully encouraging to realize that so much of what we worry about in conservation/ecology comes from a lack of understanding of how magical living systems actually are. When we understand how they work, there is so much less to worry about (and so much less "work" to do).

This is my 30th year as a botanist/ecologist and the greatest joy of doing it this long is revisiting sites I've known for decades, and seeing them benefit vastly more from no human intervention than from too much human intervention. I don't see these healthful trends and trajectories in many places that are "managed". Sorry, I won't pretend that I do.

This idea is going to upset people. This is not the conventional perspective. I was resistant to it myself, but as someone whose job it has been to collect data and monitor ecological management, from thinning and fire to controls, this is a vastly overlooked truth of the natural world: that it can do it better without us.

Maybe that isn't fair. I'll rephrase: it can do it better when we appreciate and understand how it can do it better without us, AND we follow its lead and offer a bit of assistance. Not to get political, but when you love something correctly you ask for consent and anticipate your love's needs, rather than telling it what YOU like, what it likes, and forcing it to comply. Love, patience, understanding, and compassion are ecological principles, not freaky hippie nonsense.

I know a lot of woods that look like the 2020 photo. I'm so excited to see them when they hit the point of transcendence, and so happy to know that I don't have to do anything for it to happen.”

--------------

What struck me from reading this is the concept of “disturbance-dependent” flora; and the idea that further disturbing a parcel of land, even in the act of removing invasive species, frequently makes things worse, or prevents reversion to natural conditions. Is this true in every ecological situation? No. Should it be considered in designing and implementing restoration and mitigation efforts? Definitely.

This is also the kind of philosophy we should be using in addressing all kinds of environmental, economic, and social problems. We have to start questioning the validity of the systems that are dictating certain ways of acting, and suppressing alternative methods. We cannot continue to use only profit and costs to determine the best solutions. “Scaling up” is not necessarily the best way to go. In fact, it might exacerbate the problem.

This blog respects dissent as well as validation, so please do not hesitate to enter your own thoughts into the comments, in a respectful fashion. Share *your* experiences. Thank you.

Justin Thomas is the co-founder and Science Director of NatureCITE, and the co-founder and Director of the Institute of Botanical Training. He has a BS from the University of Missouri and an MS in botany from Miami University – Ohio. He has 30 years of experience conducting ecological and taxonomic research, instructing plant identification workshops, and serves as a scientific advisor to several conservation organizations in the central and eastern United States.

Wildlife From the 2026 City Nature Challenge

The annual City Nature Challenge is one of those events that I look forward too with great excitement. I don’t like that it brings out my competitive streak, but it always yields some surprises and joys. Please see my Bug Eric blog for this post about the insects I observed, but continue reading for the birds, mammals, and “herps” that I saw.

A male American Goldfinch at the Schlagle Library in Wyandotte County Lake Park, Kansas.

I am most fortunate to have Heidi as a partner. She has amazing observation skills, and is happy to point out what she finds so that I can get my own images, or at least try to. Much of what I see is thanks to her generosity.

Blue-gray Gnatcatcher at Wyandotte County Lake Park, Kansas.

Aside from insects, birds are the most obvious wildlife, and what Heidi is usually looking for. The City Nature Challenge conveniently falls near the peak of spring migration of songbirds, so we have that going for us.

Palm Warbler, Wyandotte County Lake Park, Kansas.

This might be the year of the Palm Warbler here, as that was the most obvious of the warbler species after the abundant Yellow-rumped Warbler that we see throughout the year.

Barn Swallows were nesting *on* the library building at Wyandotte County Lake Park.

Wyandotte County Lake Park, in Kansas, is one of our favorite places to visit, in part because there is a public library branch there, the Mr. and Mrs. F.L. Schlagle Library. It also functions as a nature center, with live captive animals, and bird feeders outside. There are nest boxes for bluebirds and Prothonotary Warblers along that part of the lakeshore, too.

Bald Eagle over Wyandotte County Lake Park, Kansas.

At this time of year there is little waterfowl diversity, so we only saw Canada Goose, and maybe a Mallard. A female Red-breasted Merganser did put in a distant appearance as we were crossing the dam.

Red-breasted Merganser female, from the dam at Wyandotte County Lake Park, Kansas.

Lapping the lake via the roads, we pulled into one viewpoint to find a Raccoon happily dining on what was probably birdseed, put out by someone to attract avian friends into view, where they could photograph from their vehicle.

Raccoon enjoying lunch at Wyandotte County Lake Park, Kansas.

Weston Bend State Park, across the river in Missouri, is another must for local birders. The “problem” this year was that the tree canopy was already so dense that seeing birds was exceedingly difficult. We’ve had a warm, periodically wet spring, and plants of all kinds have flourished.

Camera-shy Carolina Wren in the bottomlands of Weston Bend State Park, Missouri.

Rather disappointed by our visit to Weston Bend, we came home to the delight of a male Rose-breasted Grosbeak dining at our backyard feeder here in Leavenworth, Kansas. It figures. LOL! A Lincoln’s Sparrow has made itself a regular in the back yard, too. It is still there as I write this on May 8.

The male Rose-breasted Grosbeak at our backyard feeder in Leavenworth, Kansas.

We may be the Eastern Gray Squirrel capital of the country, too. The number of squirrels per capita has got to be pretty great. At any one time we can have two to four squirrels or more in the back yard, with more running up and down the giant Pin Oak in the front yard.

Eastern Gray Squirrel in the neighbor's yard, Leavenworth, Kansas.

A new mammal for our back yard has been a Hispid Cotton Rat that alternates between hideouts in the log and brush pile, and the back of our water feature, stones framing a forty gallon prefab pond.

Hispid Cotton Rat sneaking some birdseed in our back yard in Leavenworth, Kansas.

No snakes this year, but Heidi did see a Common Five-lined Skink in Wyandotte County Lake Park. By the time I reached the location, it had disappeared, as skinks tend to do.

Heidi's photo of the Common Five-lined Skink, Wyandotte County Lake Park, Kansas.

We had better luck with turtles. Two different logs at Wyandotte County Lake hosted two different kinds of turtles. The usual pond sliders occupied one log, but River Cooters were on the other. Thanks go to Travis Taggart for the identifications on iNaturalist.

River Cooter turtles on a log in Wyandotte County Lake Park, Kansas.

Amphibians included the abundant Blanchard’s Cricket Frog. I also spotted an American Bullfrog in a stream, from the bridge going over it.

Blanchard's Cricket Frog at the edge of Sportsfield Park in Leavenworth, Kansas.

American Bullfrog in creek, from a bridge in Leavenworth, Kansas.

We walked the Leavenworth Landing Park along the banks of the Missouri for our final outing of the City Nature Challenge, and Heidi spotted many great birds.

Clay-colored Sparrow at Leavenworth Landing Park, Kansas.

Harris's Sparrow at Leavenworth Landing Park, Kansas.

Heidi also noticed a Gray Treefrog sitting on an open gate where the walking path goes under a railroad trestle. Had I even seen the animal at all, I would have dismissed it as some kind of gross trash discarded by a human. Wow. Camouflage in plain sight.

Gray Treefrog at Leavenworth Landing Park, Kansas.

As we exited the waterfront park, we noted Chimney Swifts flying overhead, and two Western Kingbirds on utility wires. It was a pleasant ending to another great City Nature Challenge.

Western Kingbird, downtown Leavenworth, Kansas.

You can find all of my observations for the challenge at this link on iNaturalist. Heidi’s observations, with much better images, are here. Please share links to your own observations in the comments. We love to see what you are finding!

Chimney Swifts over downtown Leavenworth, Kansas.

Earth Day Thoughts

On this 56th edition of Earth Day, I feel compelled to reflect on how we got here, and where we are going. In many ways, it seems we have taken more steps backwards, especially recently, but I also see hope and promise, if we have the collective will.

© NASA from Artemis II mission

How amazing, if not coincidental, that one of the images that inspired Earth Day was Earthrise, a view of Earth from the orbit of the Apollo 8 mission in 1968, a photo taken by astronaut Willam Anders. Fast forward to earlier this month, and images of our Blue Marble taken by the astronauts aboard the Artemis II mission leave us in awe all over again.

That awe needs to now translate to reverence, something fundamental to Indigenous cultures, and which has been nearly absent throughout the history of Western Civilization, replaced instead with fixation on attainment of gratuitous wealth, and increasing economic growth.

I was nine years old when the inaugural Earth Day occurred in 1970, too young to appreciate the fact that the major purpose of the celebration was to preserve the planet for future generations like mine. All I knew was that I loved going exploring, looking for insects, spiders, snakes, and other creatures that nobody else liked. Today, I cannot escape the observation that we treat whole sectors of humanity as badly as we do “bugs,” and sometimes even worse.

When did Homo sapiens first begin to imperil our one and only home? Some will point to the Quaternary megafauna extinctions of large mammals at the end of the Ice Age, 10,000 to 50,000 years ago. A good argument could be made that the Industrial Revolution, at least the second one, was the beginning of the holocaust. Widespread environmental damage was certainly accelerated by the burning of fossil fuels, which continues to this day.

Every human revolution magnifies the impact of the previous one, and so the Industrial Revolution led to an enormous increase in the scale of the Agricultural Revolution that preceded it. Machinery replaced draft animals, and permitted enormous plots of monoculture crops to be grown. The Third Industrial Revolution began to automate jobs that were not already outsourced to cheaper labor pools elsewhere, and the current Fourth Industrial Revolution is being defined by the widespread employment of artificial intelligence (AI) to replace most other functions in industry, business, and even the service economy. The end goal appears to be reducing most of humanity to the category of consumers, who take little part in the production of goods and services.

Overall, it appears that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are actually colonialism, capitalism, patriarchy, and racism, not necessarily in that order. There are certainly additional players, but here are your lead actors. They have all been behind conquest, war, famine, and death. Those four characteristics of human society must be extinguished if we are to have future Earth Days.

The good news is that more people are waking up to the realization that the systems of power, wealth, and governance are not working for them, or any other living thing, and that there are alternatives that are more just, participatory, and sustainable, or at least less damaging. There is renewed interest in permaculture and regenerative agriculture, for example. Community gardens, urban farming, food forests, and foraging are helping address food deserts in cities. Cooperatives and credit unions are looking a lot more humane, and less extractive, than corporations and banks.

Elevating Indigenous people, people of color in general, women, and other marginalized demographic categories into positions of power and leadership will help immensely in changing the trajectory of our world, for the betterment of all species. Priority must be given to enact change at a local scale, where experimentation is less risky, and results more immediate. There is zero room for politics, only teamwork.

Much as we may feel demoralized, replaceable with technology, and seemingly powerless to change any of it, we must begin living differently. Sometimes, that means dropping out of the systems that are destroying us. Your innovation and example are needed now more than ever.

Where's Walden?

Watching the three-part Public Broadcasting Service documentary Henry David Thoreau, I am struck by the fact that in many ways I am searching for my own Walden Pond, in more ways than geographical. It is more about finding community, and seeking accountability, as my years here on Earth dwindle.

Cranberry Pond, western Massachusetts.

There is no way I am even remotely in the same league as Thoreau. I have not even read nearly enough (including Thoreau!), for one thing. It has taken me more than twice the years to make the same observations, and arrive at the same conclusions, as it took Thoreau. In one sense I am embarrassed by that, and on the other I am proud of myself for coming to such realizations at all, in an age of distraction, and of global consumerism of goods and services rather than ideas and other intangibles.

What has shaped my perceptions, goals, and ideals, has been a conglomeration of mentorship, alternative media that I stumbled upon, the persistence of movements like Black Lives Matter, social media accounts and podcasts coming from otherwise suppressed voices in the LGBTQ, neurodivergent, disabled, Indigenous, Black, Hispanic, and other communities, plus my own observations and experiences.

It is becoming apparent that while my wish list for the ideal place to live the remainder of my days is one with a mostly warm, sunny climate, high biodiversity, public transit, diverse demographics, a robust healthcare system, and affordable cost of living, I am forgetting the need for creative inspiration and accountability. What I should be seeking is a community, or communities, of individuals that will demand of me those practices that I have been resisting or neglecting: writing regularly, reading, and collaborating with others. It is high time I become a literary mentor now, not “just” a mentor in entomology.

My partner and I could probably be happy in an even smaller house than our current two-bedroom here in Leavenworth. The likes of Thoreau’s one-room cabin on the shores of Walden Pond may be a bit too challenging, but I found it comforting to learn that he had friends willing to sleep on the floor for extended visits. We’ve all grown to have expectations of guest accommodations that are all about physical comfort, if not luxury, when what we value most is the camaraderie.

Thoreau could walk into Concord at will, which I find ideal, enjoying the literal pedestrian life that I do. I never learned to ride a bicycle, and am generally terrified of driving, at least in circumstances of congestion at speed. I currently walk with relative regularity, on a nearly three-mile route, which to this day is not at all strenuous. It takes me through a park with ballfields that is frequented by birds, squirrels, and at least one Red Fox, along its periphery by a creek. There is a forested park adjacent to the ballfields, but it is being managed for additional active recreation (a new frisbee golf course is intruding into the woods). If I walk in the opposite direction, non-stop, I can be downtown in about forty minutes.

In other aspects of life here, there is a reasonably vibrant graphic artists community, and my partner is active in it. Nothing similar for literary arts, though, or it is flying well under the radar. Youth, and minorities, however you define them, are seldom encountered except as service workers, and in schools. This is overwhelmingly a town of military veterans, current and former prison employees, and retirees who presumably cannot afford to live elsewhere. Yes, I freely admit I may be too judgmental. We do have good local restaurants, and a handful of unique small businesses that everyone appreciates, regardless of our differences.

My partner grew up here in Leavenworth, Kansas, and her parents still live here, too. She quickly adjusted to life here, and I have some misgivings about asking her to leave again, to assimilate to a place where both of us may not have existing friends, or any kind of support system. Still, continuing to live where I feel that I do not have a support system is becoming increasingly intolerable. Not enough of the residents share our values, or at least don’t express them. When you expand to the state level, it gets even worse.

Where, then, is my Walden, my Concord, my Massachusetts, my New England of yore? Where can I explore and once again be filled with wonder and hope, and have the family that has been so elusive for my entire existence?

Creepy Cooper's, Sinister Sharpie

Last month we had two predatory birds visit our yard in Leavenworth, Kansas, USA. While they were thrilling to observe, they gave me a bit of the shivers. Cooper's Hawk, and Sharp-shinned Hawk, are both accipiters, well-known for ambushing songbirds at feeders, much to the consternation of birders. These raptors don't give up easily, either, as I learned from the two I witnessed.

Profile of a regal killer.

My first look at the Cooper's Hawk.

On December 8, at about 12:15 PM, I got up abruptly from my chair in the living room, having remembered a household chore I needed to do. Glancing up, I saw, through the open blinds over our backdoor windows, the largest bird I had ever seen in our backyard. It was an adult Cooper's Hawk (COHA if you are a fan of banding codes), perched atop the shepherd's hook from which our feeders are suspended. Since I was startled myself, I fully expected it to fly off immediately, but went to get my camera anyway.

Oh, no, it's leaving?

The bird did indeed launch itself a short time later, but merely glided to the back section of our fence, where it came to rest once again. I was delighted to get more opportunities for photos from between the slats of the blind, through the entirely too-dirty windows.

Still here!

Three minutes later, the hawk flew to another section of the fence, closer still. A minute later, it returned to its previous spot on the rear section of fence. From there it moved to the fencepost that abuts our detached garage, and beneath a non-functional light fixture. We need to have that looked at, but I digress. The bird was staring intently at the brush pile I erected to offer cover to songbirds for situations just like this one.

At twelve-thirty, the Cooper's Hawk flew onto the brush pile itself, perching low, on one of the more exposed limbs. A minute later it was back atop the back section of fence. A moment later it was on the side fence again. What it did next was unexpected.

Prowling on the ground.

The hawk flew down to the ground into our backyard. It proceded to skulk around our forty gallon, prefabricated pond, and crawl through the dense, weedy thicket that is our vague attempt at a pollinator garden.

At this point, I became unsure whether I was watching a hawk, a Greater Roadrunner, or even a weasel. The alert, thorough searching of this predator was truly remarkable.

Searching in the weeds.

At twelve thirty-eight, the hawk returned to the brush pile. This time, it dove right in, scouring every inch of the labyrinth for potential prey. Creepy. Literally. Another minute or two later, the hawk flew away for good, headed in the direction of the federal penitentiary, an embarrassing block-and-a-half to the north, beyond the back section of our fence.

Exploring the brushpile.

The whole encounter seemed to last much longer than the twenty or so minutes between the time stamps on my first and last photo. I would have expected the hawk to conceal itself in the brush pile, and simply wait for the House Sparrows, House Finches, Dark-eyed Juncos, and maybe other birds, to return to the feeder, unaware of the potential danger. Not so. This was active hunting, and it took me completely by surprise.

On December 15, just before one o'clock PM, I stepped out the backdoor to top off the feeder. A bird about the size of a dove, maybe slightly larger, rocketed out of the brush pile, nearly giving me a heart attack. Miraculously, I could tell immediately that it was another accipiter, but definitely not the Cooper's Hawk from the previous week.

I was able to follow the flight of this smaller raptor and, amazingly, it came to alight atop a neighbor's fence about thirty yards away or so. I went back inside the house to retrieve my camera.

Even more surprisingly, the hawk was still there when I returned. I was too excited, and too vertically-challenged, to get a sharp (no pun intended) photo of what I suspected was a Sharp-shinned Hawk (SSHA banding code), over three layers of fences, at distance, but I tried anyway.

Sharp-shinned Hawk.

Separating Cooper's Hawks from Sharp-shinned Hawks is a challenging exercise even for seasoned birders. You caannot use size as a reliable difference because there is overlap between a small male Cooper's Hawk and a large female Sharpie. Both species are clad in nearly identical colors, though the back of the neck is colored the same as the top of the head and back of the bird in Sharp-shinned Hawk. The back of the neck is vaguely paler in Cooper's Hawk, giving it a black-capped appearance.

In my limited experience, I have noted that sharpies, when perched, look like they have no neck at all, the head tapering immediately into the rest of the body. Their beaks are very short and comparatively delicate compared to a Cooper's Hawk.

Profile of the Sharpie.

More experienced birders note that the eyes of a Sharp-shinned Hawk are larger in proportion to the head, such that they appear to be "bulging." The tip of the tail in a sharpie is straight-edged, whereas it is rounded in a Cooper's Hawk. This last trait can be unreliable, though, or at least difficult to properly perceive.

I wish I had not flushed the sharpie, and been able to observe whether it behaved similarly to the Cooper's Hawk. Maybe I can train my brain to recall these encounters before I abruptly and absent-mindedly throw open the back door again. It could be months, if not a year or more, before we get another visit, though. I suspect the hunting territory of these hawks encompasses a pretty large area.

You are invited to share your own stories of accipiter encounters in the comments here. I moderate input at least once per week. I will try and not be envious if you have seen a Northern Goshawk on your property.

Birthday Thoughts

I recently turned the big sixty-five, and there is possibly no other anniversary more important for a resident of the United States. As an official elderly person, I realize I have plenty left to say, but it isn’t “get off my lawn!” or even “today’s music is terrible.” No, there are too many topics of far greater substance. Some of them are personal, some are collective.

My overall sentiment is that I have exceeded my expiration date. There is a certain degree of envy for those who have already passed, and thereby relieved of continued suffering, which includes watching others suffer, species going extinct, the brutality of imperialism, White Christian Nationalism, global capitalism, religious wars and terrorism, and climate change. I would rather not continue bearing witness, thank you.

If I do not find a way out of my current town of residence, surrounded by people mostly older than I am, more sickly, arguably more unhappy, and clinging desperately to “the good old days,” and a culture that no longer serves us well, then I will surely die sooner rather than later. I thrive when surrounded by younger generations with energy and creativity. Few people here have any respect for the natural world.

Turning the magic age of Medicare eligibility is not the reward you might imagine, either. One of the shocking revelations is that Medicare is definitely NOT free healthcare. Parts A and B cost me about $200 per month. Friends have told me that they have that taken out of their Social Security benefits. Because they raised the official retirement age to sixty-seven, I am not yet receiving that income. I would be left with little after the Medicare payment anyway.

Oh, and I still have to find a “Medigap” plan, through a private insurance provider, to cover what Medicare does not. Naturally, that still won’t cover dental, vision, or hearing. I did secure prescription drug coverage, but will I meet the deductible?

What concerns me most is my mental health. At best, I am not nearly as productive as I should be. I loathe writing, now. It isn’t that I don’t have something to say. I simply don’t have the energy and desire to execute the keystrokes to put it down. I may go back to longhand and then transcribe it, like I used to do.

My mental state does not even entertain the idea of engaging with anyone in my community, in person. I see my in-laws on the regular, for dinner out almost every Saturday. I attend meetings or events of the local artist group my partner belongs to, maybe three or four times a year. That’s it, pretty much. Oh, the homecoming game at my partner’s high school.

The most awful notion, right now, is the idea that I need to put my life in danger in defense of vulnerable people, at a time when I am the most vulnerable myself. I’m the physically weakest I have ever been, have even shrunken in stature. I do take long walks regularly, and perform a handful of upper body exercises twice per week, but that is not enough. The rage that once fueled me to protest vigorously, has subsided greatly, though my partner might tell you otherwise. I feel ashamed of my physical cowardice, when I could not be more aligned with those who need protection.

Finances are yet another worry. Overseas travel is highly unlikely. I regret terribly that I did not visit other countries when I was younger. I have been neglectful of too many friends here in the states because I cannot be everywhere at once.

The funny thing is, I can easily envision a better world for everyone, for every species, in fact. It involves the abandonment of global capitalism, corporate control of infrastructure, pursuit of continued colonialism and empire, and instead embracing a borderless landscape. We need a “ruralopolis,” a seamless network of smaller cities, with agricultural corridors in an otherwise sparsely developed environment. International commerce would be a rare, but guaranteed treat. Currency would be something nearly intangible, almost unnecessary. We would reach consensus quickly concerning what we truly need and want. Most of those items would not be products.

Am I optimistic? No, not currently, but apparently I do have hope, and that vision, to keep me going. I do, after all, want to live long enough to see the Indigenous take back control of what is rightfully theirs.

I Shouldn't Be Ashamed....

Football season for my college alma mater is mercifully over. They finished with two wins and ten losses, including a defeat by a then 0 and 8 team. It is one of the worst performances in school history. They fired the head coach mid season. The fact that this happened, and that I am distraught by it, is a product of my own disproportionate emotional investment in what amounts to athletic entertainment, and the greater collective problems with universities, the media, and the money involved in all of it.

During my time at university, I had nothing to do with the athletic department, aside from attending football and basketball games as a student, back in the early 1980s. Since then, college sports has grown exponentially into an entertainment empire that is increasingly coveted by media conglomerates that continue to cannibalize each other, concentrating vast sums of money. It is now ESPN/ABC/Disney, FOX, CBS/Paramount, and, to a lesser degree, NBC, the CW, and other smaller networks, that are determining "winners" and "losers."

The media quest to cash in on college football began decades ago with the migration of games from free broadcast television to cable channels, namely ESPN. Ultimately, nearly all bowl games, BOWL games(!) became unavailable to any fans unwilling, or unable, to pay for ESPN. This model has continued with the recent playoff format and national championship.

As if that was not enough for the hungry media corporations, those companies drove conference realignment to create "superconferences" that make zero geographic sense, terminated some traditional rivalries, and completely abandoned at least two colleges. One of those universities left for dead was my own. The argument was that we respresent too small a "market" to attract viewers. I have been in a state of perpetual rage ever since. The schools that fled our once vibrant conference also attempted to abscond with all the money, forcing lawsuits by the two remaining schools to protect themselves financially. This is what I mean by the media choosing winners and losers.

Today, the media is obsessed with only two of the "power four" conferences: The Southeast Conference (SEC) and the Big Ten. The Big Twelve and the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) are only begrudgingly accorded recognition, persumably to avoid outright mutiny from those fanbases. The entire structure now guarantees that the Alabamas, Georgias, Ohio States, Notre Dames, Michigans, Oregons, and Oklahomas will always be at the top, or at least ranked, with little revenue left for any other programs to improve unless they have millionaire booster benefactors.

It gets better, or worse, depending on how robust the athletic budget of your school. Student athlete stars are now rightly demanding Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL) compensation. Are the media giants stepping up to meet that new burden? Hell, no. It is left to each university's booster clubs to pay their own athletes. Once again, the schools with rich and powerful alumni and other benefactors, profit by being able to elevate the visibility of their athletes, and gain an enormous recruiting advantage, while every other university is left behind.

Now to even more important questions. How have we, as a society, let it come to this? Why do we allow our universities to be branded "winners" and "losers" based solety on the performance of their football and/or men's basketball teams? Why is the public face of higher learning one dimensional, equated with the school's mascot? Did I not receive a quality education? I would say so, especially given that I did not graduate from my state school, yet my current publisher is an Ivy League press. My alma mater did something right in my case. That is all that truly matters: how your education at the university level translates to advancement in your chosen career, even if that is not in professional team sports.

If we, as a society, were truly committed to fairness in college athletics, we might demand the following to help level the playing field:

• Institute a cap on booster/alumni contributions to athletic departments. Academic quality should be the overriding concern of universities, and capping donations for athletics would allow other departments to prosper.
• Require all universities, public and private, to join a conference. No more independents like Notre Dame, so that they cannot enter into their own individual contracts with broadcast media outlets, with the resulting unshared revenue.
• Put the burden of NIL on media outlets, and the agents of individual athletes, instead of picking winners according to the wealthiest universities with boosters that can afford the cost.
• Require any athlete entering the transfer portal from a ranked school, to sign with a lower-ranked, or unranked university. Spread the talent more equitably. Make it more difficult for talent to defect. Everyone should be making sacrifices in the name of increased parity.

The remaining two universities in my school's conference have entered into an agreement to rebuild the conference, poaching the better teams from the Mountain West Conference; but for at least the next two years there will still be only eight teams, guaranteeing that no conference champion will be granted an automatic playoff berth consideration. Terrible.

Why am I personally so dejected? This year, at least, I think I am so depressed by the state of humanity, and the planet, that I am looking for *any* example of justice, fairness, redemption, and reason for joy. I want the underdog to triumph, and to do so emphatically. I want the elites and bullies to be punished, demoralized, metaphorically eviscerated. I guess I look to sports for signs that an actual revolution of importance can happen. Who am I kidding?