Surviving Holiday Dread

Early this morning we turned our clocks back for reasons that no longer seem applicable, but many of us are about to return to behaviors and states of mind that no longer serve us so that we can survive the season of politics and holidays. How else are we supposed to cope with expectations of civility that are seldom fulfilled? Not everyone has the luxury of escape from familial responsibilities and work obligations, and we really should execute our duty of voting....but can we endure without permanent brain damage?

© Purestock Getty Images via verywellmind.com

The weather is against us, too, a physical cold that amplifies our emotional distress, and adds to the difficulties of negotiating the season in terms of travel and personal safety. We bundle up and take precautions driving, but traffic jams, crowded airports, and delayed flights make the horse-drawn carriages of yesteryear seem like a downright viable alternative if not romantic and nostalgic. We have put our extended families and in-laws at more than arm's length for a reason, and now this is the price we pay for the one or two times each year we choose to acknowledge them in person.

Congratulations to you if you have a truly loving and supportive family, a dream job, are comfortably affluent, with no addictions, and are in perfect physical and mental health. Most of us are not so fortunate, and while we have no animosity towards those doing better, we wish that you had a better understanding of our realities. We wish you had more empathy.

Were it up to me, we might be holding elections in the summer, by mail, so that politics were not so near the top of our thoughts, fueling dinner table diatribes during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Alas, they are this Tuesday, and if we must get ourselves to a polling place we have to figure out how to do so between the hours of our employment, the kids' scholastic programs, and a myriad of other chores and errands. The physical process of voting is daunting, and we haven't had time to research the issues and candidates. All of this adds to the guilt we already feel about failing in our civic engagement, and reminds us of grandpa who is stuck in a reactionary mindset that has no room for a changing social landscape. Surely you will come to blows the next time you see each other.

Depending on the outcome of the elections, we are either seeing a glimmer of hope, or plunging further into despair as the holidays fast approach. What a perfect storm, eh? Speaking of which, there is probably a Nor'easter on the way, just for good measure. Now we are reaching for another cocktail, another cigarette, or both, or something worse. We are no longer looking forward to the "vacation" to see the family, and are quite possibly fantasizing about alternative plans for Vegas or the Caribbean, minus any relatives at all, including our spouse and children. This is normal, if not unfortunate. Fantasies of fleeing are fine and healthy, it is carrying them out that is damaging. Know the difference.

What you may need to do is make a preemptive strike against depression and anxiety via a twelve-step group, a psychologist, or a supportive group in your church. Daily life is not kind to societal outcasts, and this time of year is harder still. Christians in particular would do well to remember that and at least ease off the rhetoric a bit. Compassion has to come without the strings of conversion attached to it. Seek first to understand, strive to accept rather than tolerate.

We will still likely have to deal with people who push our buttons, though, so what do we do? Avoidance is underrated if it means removing yourself from toxic situations and toxic people. You should have zero tolerance for physical, emotional, or financial abuse. Get away, stay away, or insist that your family share meals and time with another family, or at a public gathering. The "neutral field" approach can be highly effective at disarming what would otherwise be a volatile circumstance. We are all on our best behavior among people we feel we need to impress, or uphold an already high opinion they have for us.

Separate your personal objections to religion and politics from friends and family who might hold opposing positions. Good people are well worth your time, love, and investment, and good people come from all segments of the socio-economic-religious-political-ethnic spectra. Cultivating empathy should be the primary goal in our relationships with others. Listening is always good. Keeping your opinions to yourself sometimes helps, but do politely articulate your own perspectives if you need reminding of your own self-worth. I am a firm believer in the idea that stating your values, your truths, out loud, does wonders for self-esteem and confidence....as long as you are being honest, and keep an open yet critical mind.

Ask others to be honest in their assessment of the origins of their stance on any given hot topic. It is obviously personal to them, so why is that? Assure them there is no shame in being forthright, and defend them from ridicule if that is the unfortunate turn a discussion takes. You can disagree without bullying.

Good luck to you in the coming months. We wish you peace and prosperity, sincerely, and relief from whatever burdens you carry. Please share your skills, tips, and tricks for making it through the holidays with minimal pain. We are all ears.

Timberline

Hemlock tops
Boughed in prayer
To the Sun God,
To the Snow God.
Winter Water weight gain
Shed with the thaw,
Hemlock heads
Bending like Narcissus
To admire their own beauty.

Eric R. Eaton, circa 1989

Art

The palette knife of Nature
Paints impressionist reflections
In shards of ice.
Mountains merge with sky
On upside down horizon.
Pigments thicker here,
Absent there,
And rough edges everywhere.
Leroy Neiman's landscape,
Stucco patterns in a plaster world.

Eric R. Eaton, circa 1989

Misplaced Waterfowl

Have you ever wondered what constitutes a “duck pond?” Is it the mere presence of waterfowl? Is it over a certain number of acres, or under a certain number? Perhaps it is always an artificial pond, constructed as a decorative landscape feature. The “lake” at the intersection of Interstate 25 and Circle Drive/Lake Avenue in Colorado Springs certainly fits the bill on all counts.

Heidi had been watching the “rare bird alert” for Colorado and discovered that a Long-tailed Duck, Clangula hyemalis, had been spotted in this most improbable of locales. You just can’t get any more urban than this: a pond situated right off a major freeway, with a Doubletree Hotel and Tinsel Town cinemas being the most prominent nearby features. Yet, there it was, this wayward migrant. The duck formerly known as the “Oldsquaw” normally spends the winter along the extreme north Pacific coast, from BC to Alaska, and the Atlantic coast as far south as North Carolina (though scarce). It breeds in the Arctic, spending the summers there.

This specimen was without the trademark long tail, but there was no mistaking that pink-and-black bill. We were pleasantly surprised that the lake was small enough to allow us to get really good views of all the species of waterfowl there. Here on the Front Range, there are not that many wetlands to begin with, and most are large reservoirs that do not allow anything but long-distance views of birds requiring spotting scopes and high-powered binoculars.

A large flock of the Canada Goose, Branta Canadensis, dominated the lake, and you have to watch where you step lest you return home with goose poop on your shoes. Beyond the geese were good numbers of the Common Goldeneye, Bucephala clangula, Ring-necked Ducks, Aythya collaris, and a small number of Canvasback, A. valisineria. A few Mallards were there, too, of course, and a handful of Hooded Mergansers, Lophodytes cucullatus. Oh, and at least three Northern Shovelers, Anas clypeata.

Common Goldeneye drake

Hooded Merganser pair

Heidi has sharper eyes than I do, and she spotted something equally out-of-place. She managed to get a picture, but we are getting conflicting opinions as to whether the bird depicted below is a Greater or Lesser Scaup. Lessers are not uncommon summer residents here in central Colorado, but should be wintering farther south. Greaters are again coastal birds that should have no business this far inland.

The western edges of the pond were already covered in ice, but with days now getting longer, we hope to return regularly to look for more ducks and geese on the remaining open water. It sure beats longer road trips to Chatfield Reservoir and even Fountain Creek Regional Park where we have seen far lower numbers and diversity of our fine feathered friends.

Treats

Berries encased in ice,
Frozen delights on a stick
That children lick,
But without synthetic spice

Berries embedded in ice,
Frozen delights on a stick
That birds can't pick,
But other seeds will suffice

Snow-i-zona

The recent storms that migrated here to Arizona from southern California have produced heavy rains in the valleys, and heavy snow in the higher elevations. Even the Santa Catalina Mountains, of only moderate altitude, got their share. I took these images from my apartment complex in midtown Tucson, looking north.

I find it rather amusing that there are palm trees in the foreground, and scenery more reminiscent of Colorado in the background. One of those two seems to be misplaced, maybe Photoshopped into the frame. Nope, it is all real.

My friends in Massachusetts would kid me about the snow when it fell during my stay up there, seems as how unaccustomed to precipitation I was. I'm actually no stranger to the white stuff, and quite enjoy it, especially away from an urban setting.

I remember when my Explorer Post, which kept me out of trouble during high school, had a weekend up near the timberline on Mt. Hood in Oregon. We stayed in a two-story cabin you had to reach on snowshoes at that time of year (April). We entered on the second floor. It was delightful: warm during the day with bright sun, the snow crystals gleaming like diamonds. Camp robbers (birds called gray jays) stole our pancakes, literally right out from under our noses, but we laughed.

Winter Mourn

Life huddles on a winter-dead tree.
Birds feather-fluffed crouch low,
Eyes shut to cold onslaught.
Moss uncombed
Drapes over shoulder limb.
A fungus staircase
Up the bumpy trunk
Provides an avenue
For a meandering snail.

Sudden flight
Cracks cloud, leaves branches
Bouncing in good-bye.
Torn shroud of gray
Re-sews itself.
Lonely twigs lace the sky
And mourn the bird-loss
With heavy dew-tears.

But moss still clings,
Fungus holds fast,
And snail still lingers.

Eric R. Eaton
circa 1981

Stump Sprouts

Last Sunday, September 20, I had the pleasure of visiting the Stump Sprouts Guest Lodge and Cross Country Ski Center, located in the picturesque township of Hawley in Franklin County, Massachusetts. You should see the place for yourself, though, and taste the food, and just relax there.

I had been invited by a friend to lead a “bug walk” before the annual “nature” meeting and supper for the Sons and Daughters of Hawley. The drive through the rural, rolling hills was a treat in itself, but what a great place the destination was. Nobody showed for the bug walk, except for the owners of Stump Sprouts, Suzanne and Lloyd Crawford. They are the most wonderful couple you will ever meet, totally dedicated to providing an enjoyable experience for their guests, while embracing a commitment to sustainability, low impact recreation, and local agriculture. Local as in right there on the property, whenever possible.

The Crawfords have been doing this since 1977, including constructing buildings from timber they took from their own property. This is in part the origin of the “Stump Sprouts” name: ‘new life from old roots’ as their brochure states.
I really love the whimsical “face” on the side of the lodge, made from old rusty tools and sawblades. It is also a reflection of the cheerful nature of the proprietors.

One of the newer additions has been this solar panel that generates electricity that they feed into the grid, drawing the energy back out as they need it. I found that the structure also supports housing for paper wasps beneath it. Nearby is a vegetable garden and compost heap. They regularly serve the literal fruits of their garden in the meals they prepare for guests.

The bread and butter season for Stump Sprouts is the winter when they host cross-country skiers, snowshoe hikers, and even ice skaters at some of the local ponds. They keep their 450 acres laced with well-groomed trails through woods, fields, and meadows.

There is no reason one cannot enjoy the accommodations at any other time of year, and I could recommend the facilities for any group wishing to do nature-related workshops, birding tours, or even scientific research. Suzanne and Lloyd are very knowledgeable about the local flora and fauna, and willing to learn even more.

All the amenities, save linens, bedding, and toilet articles which guests are asked to provide themselves, come at very reasonable prices. The lodge is also located close to the town of Shelburne Falls, and Northampton and Greenfield are only about a 45 minute drive away. From Boston it is only 2 hours, and New York City is about four road hours away.

Please visit the website for Stump Sprouts for current rates and more detailed information. It is well worth the visit, even for a day.